Mindfulness for Moms: How to Actually Fit Calm Into Your Day
“What mom has time to meditate?” I’ve heard this question many times. We’ve all heard about the benefits of mindfulness, but for most moms, the idea of sitting in silent meditation for thirty minutes feels like an impossible luxury. In this post, I’ll walk through how:
Mindfulness is an important skill for moms, as it promotes patience, enhances your ability to be in the present moment, and lowers anxiety
Mindfulness can include meditation, but can also include observing or participating fully in the world around you
You can do mindfulness skills around your kids, or even involve your kids in a creative mindfulness practice
Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean prolonged time in silence with no thoughts entering your mind. With a little creativity and intentionality, mindfulness can be a part of your everyday life.
Why Is Mindfulness So Hard for Parents?
As a parent, your to-do list likely feels never-ending, with a million tasks competing for your attention at any given second. This constant "autopilot" mode makes it incredibly difficult to find moments to simply be present. Even when do you have a moment to yourself, that doesn’t mean your mind can relax. In my experience, most moms struggle to feel like they can find the “off switch” for their brain. Moms carry a heavy mental load filled with the day’s schedule, our worries for our children, and the constant to-dos. Self-care can end up feeling like a luxury and it may take a lot of effort to clear your mind.
What is Mindfulness?
In my experience, though many moms know about mindfulness, the definition of mindfulness can become murky. I prefer the framework from Marsha Linehan’s DBT Skills Training, which identifies three core traits of mindfulness:
Intentionally living in the present moment rather than staying on autopilot.
Not judging or rejecting the moment, even if that moment is painful or stressful.
Not getting caught up in the past or future.
When we view mindfulness through this lens, it becomes a skill you can practice while doing almost anything, from coloring to changing a diaper, from cooking dinner to playing dress up.
Why is it Helpful for Parents to Practice Mindfulness?
There’s a lot of scientific research about the benefits of mindfulness, ranging from reducing anxiety, stress, and depression, and increasing wellbeing. Mindfulness has also been shown to improve emotion regulation, meaning improving your ability to deal with emotions effectively. In particular, mindfulness can help you be more patient, less reactive, and more thoughtful about your responses to stressors. With all of the stress that parenthood brings, what mom couldn’t use a bit more patience and a bit less stress?
Mindfulness also involves improving a person’s ability to live in the present moment. As parents, we have a million tasks on our to-do lists and it’s hard to find moments to simply be present. Additionally, mindfulness has benefits for executive functioning, meaning that you’ll likely be more productive when you do tackle that to-do list. It’s easy to see why mindfulness also promotes an improved sense of wellbeing.
What are Some Practical Ways a Busy Mom can Practice Mindfulness?
Moms rarely have time to slow down and that means moms need a mindfulness practice that is integrated into what we are already doing. We can do this by observing our experiences and by participating in them more fully.
Ways to Observe Your Experience
Mindful Eating: Notice the actual taste, texture, smell, etc. of your food.
Body Scans: Take a big stretch and focus your full attention on how your muscles feel.
Thought Labeling: Describe your urges without acting on them (e.g., “I notice an urge to fix my child's mistake rather than letting them learn”).
Ways to Fully Participate
The "One-Thing" Rule: If you are reading a novel to relax, do not try to do a chore at the same time.
Physical Connection: Focus all your attention on the feeling of a hug or cuddle with your child.
Having Fun: Sing or dance alone with your kids and really lose yourself in the moment.
Can I Involve my Kids in my Mindfulness Practice?
There’s also research indicating that mindfulness also benefits the mental health of children and adolescents. In a world of social media and phones, being present and focused benefits them just like it benefits us. So as you find ways to practice mindfulness in the day-to-day activities of a parent, invite your children to join you. Don’t make it a lesson or a chore; make it a fun part of the activity. That could include:
Sensory Checks: Ask them what the fresh bread smells like or what the clouds look like.
Active Games: Play "Freeze Dance" or "Red Light, Green Light" to practice awareness and regulation.
Breathing Bubbles: Use blowing bubbles as a fun way to teach deep, controlled breathing.
Taking the First Step Toward Calm
Mindfulness is a powerful tool for managing the anxiety, irritability, and stress that often come with motherhood. While the pace of a mom's life rarely slows down, your ability to remain present can change how you experience that pace. You do not need hours of silence; you just need a little intentionality in your day-to-day life.
If you feel overwhelmed trying to tackle these skills alone, reaching out for professional support can help.
Are you ready to find more patience and less stress? If you are located in Clovis, CA, or are interested in telehealth throughout California, I would love to support you in your journey toward healing. Contact me today to learn more about how therapy can help you master mindfulness for moms.
For more information, check out these related links:
https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/
https://www.mindful.org/mindfulness-for-kids/
Frequently Asked Questions: Mindfulness for Moms
What is the best definition of mindfulness for busy parents? Mindfulness for moms is intentionally living in the present moment rather than being on "autopilot". It involves not judging or rejecting the present moment—even when things are stressful or painful—and refusing to get caught up in the past or future.
How can I practice mindfulness if I don't have time to meditate? You do not need silence or extra time; you can practice mindfulness by observing or participating fully in your current activities. This can be as simple as noticing the flavor of your coffee, describing your internal urges during a difficult moment, or fully focusing on a cuddle with your child.
Does mindfulness really help with parenting stress and anxiety? Yes, scientific research indicates that mindfulness reduces anxiety, stress, and depression while increasing overall wellbeing. For parents, it specifically improves emotion regulation, helping you become more patient and less reactive to daily stressors
Can practicing mindfulness make me more productive? Surprisingly, yes. Mindfulness has been shown to benefit executive functioning. By improving your ability to stay present, you are likely to be more focused and productive when you finally tackle your to-do list.
How do I involve my children in mindfulness? You can invite your children to join you in "fun" mindfulness rather than making it a chore. Research shows it benefits their mental health too. Try playing "freeze dance," people-watching, or blowing bubbles together to practice deep breathing.
Where can I find a therapist for maternal mental health in California? If you are located in Clovis, CA, or are looking for telehealth services anywhere in California, contact me today to get started with therapy. Reaching out to a therapist is a great first step toward healing and managing the overwhelm of motherhood.
